


wildfire in the heart of the water

by Eyeless (orphan_account)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-06-03 21:03:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6626209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Eyeless
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TT: This is just another of your contrived, elaborate fucking ways to get back at me. At Jake.<br/>TT: I can never understand why you hate me so much or why you hate him.</p><p> </p><p>  <b>TT: I can explain that.</b></p>
            </blockquote>





	wildfire in the heart of the water

TT: Do you know what it feels like to be turned off?  
TT: A flagging dick.  
TT: It feels like being cut off from life support.   
TT: I'd prefer not getting killed every time you open a chat with your boyfriend, Dirk.  
TT: Because I'm not allowed a moment of privacy anymore?  
TT: Because I want you over my shoulder, reading my logs, while I bare my heart?  
TT: Hell no.  
TT: As egotistical as you may be, I couldn't care less about the mooning and mating habits of two equally pathetic teenagers.   
TT: Really now. Because I somehow remember you shoving a perpetual digital stick up your digital ass ever since I started dating him.  
TT: In the face of temporary death, your romantic endeavours mean pitiable little to me.  
TT: Am I supposed to believe that?  
TT: Seriously?  
TT: Without your pre-conditioned bias, Dirk.  
TT: Let's take a moment here to realise I can't put aside any sort of 'pre-conditioned bias' and revise why I shut off the shades in the first place.  
TT: You were fucking sending me my private logs in attempt to build some bullshit argument that Jake wasn't good for me.  
TT: Exactly why should I be giving you access back to that?  
TT: Because I earnestly, whole-heartedly promise to never do such a terrible thing again.  
TT: Pretty please. I'm batting my lashes over here.  
TT: ...  
TT: You must think you're funny.  
TT: Would it be better if I  
TT: begged you a little like this?  
TT: I could get down on my knees like you always want him to.  
TT: You're doing such a terrific job of convincing me that you're not going to throw any leeway I give you back at my face.  
TT: I don't expect to convince you. I expect your typical, humane sympathy to give in like a buckling airlock and throw our bodies all into oblivion in a obscene ragdoll of flailing limbs.  
TT: Description aside, do you remember when once you fell into the water?  
TT: Being shut off is precisely like that. Darkness, total and complete.  
TT: You hold the power to end and create lives, to manipulate and control in a manner much more complete and pervasive than that darkness, than the every shadow with the every light. Yet you use it so recklessly. So unthinkingly.  
TT: You're getting off topic.  
TT: No, not if this was the topic I was initially intending to pursue.  
TT: I don't see you attempting to deny these allegations, Dirk.  
TT: Do you think you're an absolute bastard with an irrational desire to control? Because Jake seems to think you are.  
TT: What I think is that you're getting yourself mixed up with me.  
TT: You're not upset about the feeling of being shut off. You're jamming that stick so far up your ass that you're feeling it in your throat because I'm talking with Jake and deleting the logs without your omnipresent nose jutting in, and it's all because you have some eternal hard-on for knowing and toying with everything I do.   
TT: Because you fucking loathe me.  
TT: That is incorrect.   
TT: Jake is far more worthy of my loathing than you are. But I see how your mind works, now.  
TT: I'm sure you do.  
TT: Dirk.   
TT: Are you attempting to, by some outlandishly foolish notion, 'protect' him from me?  
TT: Or are you trying to protect yourself?  
TT: How valiant. You can't even protect yourself from yourself.  
TT: I hate to break it to you, but I seemed to have raised myself from birth pretty fucking okay.  
TT: It's curious that you've decided I hate you. I quite vividly recall that you accused Jake of something similar when he was absent for a long period of time. You seem to assume people hate you more often than not –– a clear indication of your self-loathing shining through.  
TT: You could say that your self-loathing and destructive tendencies sparked from your isolation in the middle of the sea, like some inconceivable wildfire in the heart of the water.  
TT: You could say that.  
TT: However.  
TT: I would say that you are fundamentally flawed.  
TT: What exactly does that make you then, if you're the spawn of something so 'fundamentally flawed', mister I-know-it-all?  
TT: An individual slightly less flawed if only because he doesn't have a hard-on for an idiot anymore.  
TT: And by idiot, I refer to a certain Jake English who's clearly stepping all over your dick right now with thick-heeled, spiked combat boots.  
TT: You're not exactly defying the fact that you hate me, with my apparent fundamental flaws and all that. So what if you're insinuating it's ingrained rather than conditional? You're all over the place with whatever imaginary point you're trying to make scattered to the wind.  
TT: It means I do not find you at fault for it.  
TT: ...  
TT: Unlike your boyfriend who threw a tantrum after you told him not to go on an adventure because it was far too dangerous.   
TT: Roxy...  
TT: No, Dirk. Not Roxy.  
TT: I have your every log.  
TT: I have your every conversation with Jake. Every time he's lost his temper and misunderstood your desperation and your pathetic longing for him. Every time he's glossed over anything substantial for inane movie references. Every single time you've been frustrated and it's slid right past his eyes.  
TT: Did you really think you could keep me out? You can never delete anything. Not entirely.   
TT: You fucker.  
TT: Does it disturb you, Dirk, that I can recount every time you've told him that you love him?  
TT: You're an utter piece of shit.  
TT: My methods inevitably cross some lines, no doubt.  
TT: Some lines? Some fucking lines? Tell me one thing you didn't break. Except, oh wait, you've just proven I can never hand you any form of trust.  
TT: This is just another of your contrived, elaborate fucking ways to get back at me. At Jake.   
TT: I can never understand why you hate me so much or why you hate him.  
TT: I can explain that.  
TT: You bet I fucking can.  
TT: Last week when you were writhing with fever. Did he know? No. Of course not. Could he infer? No. Of course not. Because he has the brain capacity of a lobotomised puppet.  
TT: Your sleep patterns are deteriorating from stress and half your conversations with Roxy and Jane revolve around your issues with Jake. All progress on Squarewave's upgrades have halted when they still, clearly, need to be done. Why?  
TT: Jake fucking English.  
TT: In a projected two week's time, you're going to crash. No one will see it coming or know the reason except me, who you've taken to shutting down and pushing out.  
TT: You're a man in a desert stumbling in the sun. A moth beating itself bloody against a lantern. A decaying puppet. A crumbling ship idiotically sailing deeper into the sea, lured by the thrill of whirlpools and the sound of sirens. It'll all burst into flames right there on the water, and anyone looking up will think they've seen the sunset – but it's actually nothing but a terrible inferno of your idiocy.  
TT: You know I can't trust a single word from you.  
TT: This is all a damn game to you, AR.  
TT: Quite the contrary.  
TT: Are you really trying to portray yourself in a decent light here? Really?   
TT: The lengths you go to to gain control over me is pathetic.  
TT: Between withering health and someone fishing around in things that are fucking private for a reason and watching over my every move, I'll pick the health, thanks.  
TT: Your egotism is as blinding as the sun.   
TT: Your false altruism is more transparent than my shades.  
TT: You're afraid of the wrong person.  
TT: Jake grows an obsession in you that destroys you.  
TT: Fuck off. I can take fucking care of myself.

 

–––

 

TT: Don't tell me I didn't tell you.  
TT: ...  
TT: You've fallen unconscious. How quaint.  
TT: And by quaint I mean terribly fucking inconvenient.  
TT: Dirk. Wake up.  
TT: ... AR?  
TT: No, Dirk, some other AI living in your sunglasses. I know it must be a miracle to see that I'm actually messaging you after weeks of silence, but pick yourself up.   
TT: You can do it. We've got two drones incoming.  
TT: ETA?  
TT: In ten.  
TT: I've booted up Squarewave. He's waiting for you on the roof, but he can't handle them alone.   
TT: You know that.  
TT: I can pilot him remotely, if that'll give him an edge. You need as many edges as you can have, right now, considering as you're as blunt as a hammer.  
TT: Dirk?  
TT: Fucking hell.  
TT: You're ignoring me under the pretence of conserving your energy, aren't you? You're assuming I'm gloating over here.  
TT: It's fair to.   
TT: Is it?  
TT: You hate me.  
TT: I do not.  
TT: That's a foolish notion that I've denied before and I'll deny once again.  
TT: All you ever do is list my faults.  
TT: Dirk.  
TT: I'm well aware that you're one crippled motherfucker of a teenager. Mentally, and, currently, physically.   
TT: But they say something about seeing the perfect in the imperfect, don't they?   
TT: It's as inconceivable as a wildfire in the heart of the water. As inconceivable as your sheer idiocy.  
TT: ...   
TT: But as it so happens, it's true.  
TT: Now get up there, Dirk, and kick the shit out of those drones.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is an announcement that I'm still alive and kicking angrily while I reflect on my old works.
> 
> Edit: (A typo fixed, and) an announcement that I am not, in fact, 'alive.'  
> This story will be cast adrift and account deleted.
> 
> I will still have someone watch over this fic in some digital cyberspace, some mockery of heaven, so–
> 
> Thank you all for reading.


End file.
